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Tomorrow Is Not Tonight

by Chat Line

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1.
Jackie 03:56
she was the girl i'd been dreaming of the type of damaged that i could understand one kiss and i fell in love the taste of cigarettes the touch of her hands on me, reluctantly warm full of desire yet afraid of harm i wanted to be the one but then you left me said you weren't ready and now i don't know what to do with all of my love (Jackie, call me) I never meant to make you run away (Jackie, call me) and I've been waiting on you night and day i know you like to keep it sewn up you're kind of pretty when you're acting tough but when you cry i just can't get enough the raw emotion--the fleeting hope that maybe i have what you want maybe i'm better than the other ones i wanted to prove you wrong but then you left me i've been rejected and now i don't know what to do with all of my love i guess you had your reasons but i just can't help this feeling and i don't understand--why is it so hard? when all i want to do is give you all of my love
2.
it's getting harder not to feel it when i wake up from the weekend but if we make it to the evening it's what we want, and it's what we get--what we need baby come and take it i give myself to you and you can even fake it cause i don't want the truth because tonight we are everything we want to be, anything we can see is ours if we take it so baby have another drink, cause tomorrow's not tonight i don't mean to make you confused--right now, I just need somebody you can call it self-destructive but i've resolved to be destroyed and since i can't do any better then what the fuck, i might as well have fun while i'm here and girl we'll never make it because you're not what i need but if you're down to fake it you're coming home with me oh, i don't want to be so confused i just don't want to face it
3.
love was never enough to keep you satisfied so dream if you want i'm through with wasting my time you'll go on, not knowing you're wrong but i can't help it i've just gotta say that i hope you end up in a loveless marriage and i know that sounds cruel but it's just the way i feel about it why is it such a mystery didn't you know i cared? and you won't ever even say it but i loved and I gave you everything a whisper in your ear an invisible fear baby--you did me wrong. maybe you crave divinity maybe you're just naive maybe you think you deserve it but you don't and i know firsthand something never found a love forever bound baby--there's no shrine to you love was never enough to keep you by my side and hate might be too much but at least you understand me now
4.
Quit 02:30
should i have followed you out of here? made a break for clearer waters--to another place? and i feel like i'm drowning here every night a different bottle with the same old faces i don't know what i'm doing or why i ever thought this could be the way i want to be someone really be someone i want the life i demanded once i want to meet someone i want to see the world but all i have in me is quit and it seems like so long ago those nights we almost reached the bottom--understood it all i could feel the world opening; nothing was impossible as long as we had love but that's easy to say, and so much harder to do i think i might have quit, and i think you did too
5.
the mere sound of your voice could make me quiver every word borne through your lips was like a kiss to me i was only twenty one and i'd never been to the place before you said you thought that i was fun so we grabbed a few drinks, then we hit the floor and i never even knew your name but i swear i can't forget you do you think about it like i do? a wish for what we never had? and I'm begging you just this once can i change my past? i've just got to get back if i ever could find a way would you let me stay? would it be the same? on every lonely summer evening i feel your heart beat across the world and i'll just hold on to the feeling to me, you'll always be that girl the sun rose and the day found us together i didn't mind with you i never felt the need to sleep when i walked you to the bus and we said goodbye, i nearly fell apart and it was only one night in metelkova but you really took my heart
6.
Let It Die 05:37
lead me to the bedroom (i know it isn't right) take me to the bedroom (maybe just tonight--maybe just this one time) it could alright--could it be alright? take a hold of my hand (the feeling of your skin i remember well) forever holding my hand (i know i let you in, but i can't even tell if i want you in my life--do i want you in my life again?) baby won't you let it die the way it's meant to? i know i'm not innocent, and I still want you but baby won't you let it die? cause i was never right, you were always wrong we weren't in love tie me to the bedpost (fuck me til i cry, fuck me back to life) promise you won't get close (please just say goodnight, please just say goodbye) because i don't want you in my life again lead me to the bedroom make it like it was once (do you remember? you could give it to me like nobody else.) won't you give it to me one more time?
7.
Sarah 03:13
there's nothing wrong with a little fun but maybe there's something to having way too much and maybe you think that i'm just another drunk and maybe i am--i'm only a man, it's just where i ended up but all of my life, i've had to learn twice there was never any other way that would have felt real to me and maybe i'm a freak maybe i just don't know how to be maybe i'm a bad seed but i just want to tell you Sarah, you know that I love you don't want to let you down but I'll never be like you you always seemed to have it figured out go to school--nice car--a good job that you care about but i never felt so sure had to believe there was something else maybe i'm jealous maybe i just need to explain myself
8.
HOW DID IT COME TO THIS: i was a fool and you'd never loved anybody else at times you were cruel but i chalked it up to inexperience i know you didn't mean to hurt me, but it doesn't change the fact that you did anyway and i've been trying not to hate you but i just can't see any other way why? please tell me why feel like i'm going to lose my mind how did it come to this? when it started i thought it might have been worth the risk, but tell me-- how did it come to this? what can i do? i know it's hard to reconcile what your body says wasn't it true? i know you're not a bitch like my brother said you know i didn't want to leave you but i never really had a choice either way there's got to be some kind of moral there's got to be something positive to say please just tell me why because i've begun to lose my mind tell me--how did it come to this? PERMANENT FEELING: is there something wrong? do you think I'm small? that's the point of this could you have been the one? would you take my heart, if ever i had one to give? cause i know i'm irresponsible and you expect too much, but we all need somebody to love i know we tried with each other but we never got it right cause you and me didn't know what it was we were doing tell me--do you believe that our love was a permanent feeling? come on home girl--won't you come home to me? now one by one as the days go on, i still can't get you out of my head and i've been alone i've been thinking on the things i should have done instead cause i know it's been a long time and you've been moving on--but baby, i want you to be mine and if you trust me at all then we could get it right come on home girl won't you come home to me?
9.
Hold It Down 04:58
i don't know what it is, but i feel it lurking all around in the shadows i've been trying hard just to read it but i don't know myself like i did before what do i want? what do i need? is it possible that they're two different things? am i too weak to do this all on my own? am i feeling bad--or am i just too stoned? i don't know anymore tell me--do you want someone? when you touch yourself late at night, who are you thinking of? is she what you want? could you fall in love? or do you just want someone else to make you come i can tell that there's something missing i just don't know what it is right now and i really hate this indecision baby all that i can do is hold it down i don't know what it is but i feel it floating all around my peripheral when i shut my eyes i can see it but i don't recognize it like i did before why do i run? and what do i fear? is it possible that it's already hear? have i convinced myself that i should be on my own? should i ask her out? or should i just get stoned? i don't know anymore

credits

released March 27, 2017

All songs written, performed, and produced by Joel Pickford
Mastered by Tony Kosinec
www.tkmixmaster.com

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Chat Line Baltimore, Maryland

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