Tomorrow Is Not Tonight

by Chat Line

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02:30
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05:37
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03:13
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04:58

credits

released March 27, 2017

All songs written, performed, and produced by Joel Pickford
Mastered by Tony Kosinec
www.tkmixmaster.com

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Chat Line Baltimore, Maryland

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Track Name: Jackie
she was the girl i'd been dreaming of
the type of damaged that i could understand
one kiss and i fell in love
the taste of cigarettes
the touch of her hands on me, reluctantly warm
full of desire yet afraid of harm
i wanted to be the one

but then you left me
said you weren't ready
and now i don't know what to do with all of my love

(Jackie, call me)
I never meant to make you run away
(Jackie, call me)
and I've been waiting on you night and day

i know you like to keep it sewn up
you're kind of pretty when you're acting tough
but when you cry i just can't get enough
the raw emotion--the fleeting hope that maybe i have what you want
maybe i'm better than the other ones
i wanted to prove you wrong

but then you left me
i've been rejected
and now i don't know what to do with all of my love

i guess you had your reasons
but i just can't help this feeling
and i don't understand--why is it so hard?
when all i want to do is give you all of my love
Track Name: Tomorrow Is Not Tonight
it's getting harder not to feel it
when i wake up from the weekend
but if we make it to the evening
it's what we want, and it's what we get--what we need
baby come and take it
i give myself to you
and you can even fake it
cause i don't want the truth

because tonight we are
everything we want to be, anything we can see
is ours if we take it
so baby have another drink, cause tomorrow's not tonight

i don't mean to make you confused--right now, I just need somebody

you can call it self-destructive
but i've resolved to be destroyed
and since i can't do any better
then what the fuck, i might as well have fun while i'm here

and girl we'll never make it
because you're not what i need
but if you're down to fake it
you're coming home with me

oh, i don't want to be so confused
i just don't want to face it
Track Name: Loveless Marriage
love was never enough
to keep you satisfied
so dream if you want
i'm through with wasting my time
you'll go on, not knowing you're wrong
but i can't help it
i've just gotta say

that i hope you end up in a loveless marriage
and i know that sounds cruel
but it's just the way i feel about it

why is it such a mystery
didn't you know i cared?
and you won't ever even say it
but i loved and I gave you everything
a whisper in your ear
an invisible fear
baby--you did me wrong.

maybe you crave divinity
maybe you're just naive
maybe you think you deserve it
but you don't
and i know firsthand
something never found
a love forever bound
baby--there's no shrine to you

love was never enough to keep you by my side
and hate might be too much
but at least you understand me now
Track Name: Quit
should i have followed you out of here?
made a break for clearer waters--to another place?
and i feel like i'm drowning here
every night a different bottle with the same old faces

i don't know what i'm doing
or why i ever thought this could be the way
i want to be someone
really be someone
i want the life i demanded once
i want to meet someone
i want to see the world
but all i have in me is quit

and it seems like so long ago
those nights we almost reached the bottom--understood it all
i could feel the world opening; nothing was impossible as long as we had love
but that's easy to say, and so much harder to do
i think i might have quit, and i think you did too
Track Name: Summer Abroad
the mere sound of your voice could make me quiver
every word borne through your lips was like a kiss to me
i was only twenty one and i'd never been to the place before
you said you thought that i was fun so we grabbed a few drinks,
then we hit the floor

and i never even knew your name
but i swear i can't forget you
do you think about it like i do?
a wish for what we never had?

and I'm begging you just this once
can i change my past?
i've just got to get back
if i ever could find a way
would you let me stay?
would it be the same?
on every lonely summer evening
i feel your heart beat across the world
and i'll just hold on to the feeling
to me, you'll always be that girl

the sun rose and the day found us together
i didn't mind
with you i never felt the need to sleep
when i walked you to the bus and we said goodbye, i nearly fell apart
and it was only one night in metelkova but you really took my heart
Track Name: Let It Die
lead me to the bedroom
(i know it isn't right)
take me to the bedroom
(maybe just tonight--maybe just this one time)
it could alright--could it be alright?

take a hold of my hand
(the feeling of your skin i remember well)
forever holding my hand
(i know i let you in, but i can't even tell if i want you in my life--do i want you in my life again?)

baby won't you let it die the way it's meant to?
i know i'm not innocent, and I still want you but
baby won't you let it die?
cause i was never right, you were always wrong
we weren't in love

tie me to the bedpost
(fuck me til i cry, fuck me back to life)
promise you won't get close
(please just say goodnight, please just say goodbye)
because i don't want you in my life again

lead me to the bedroom
make it like it was once
(do you remember? you could give it to me like nobody else.)
won't you give it to me one more time?
Track Name: Sarah
there's nothing wrong with a little fun
but maybe there's something to having way too much
and maybe you think that i'm just another drunk
and maybe i am--i'm only a man, it's just where i ended up

but all of my life, i've had to learn twice
there was never any other way that would have felt real to me

and maybe i'm a freak
maybe i just don't know how to be
maybe i'm a bad seed
but i just want to tell you
Sarah, you know that I love you
don't want to let you down
but I'll never be like you

you always seemed to have it figured out
go to school--nice car--a good job that you care about
but i never felt so sure
had to believe there was something else
maybe i'm jealous
maybe i just need to explain myself
Track Name: How Did It Come To This/Permanent Feeling
HOW DID IT COME TO THIS:
i was a fool
and you'd never loved anybody else
at times you were cruel
but i chalked it up to inexperience

i know you didn't mean to hurt me,
but it doesn't change the fact that you did anyway
and i've been trying not to hate you
but i just can't see any other way

why?
please tell me why
feel like i'm going to lose my mind
how did it come to this?
when it started i thought it might have been worth the risk, but tell me--
how did it come to this?

what can i do?
i know it's hard to reconcile what your body says
wasn't it true?
i know you're not a bitch like my brother said

you know i didn't want to leave you
but i never really had a choice either way
there's got to be some kind of moral
there's got to be something positive to say

please just tell me why
because i've begun to lose my mind
tell me--how did it come to this?

PERMANENT FEELING:
is there something wrong?
do you think I'm small?
that's the point of this
could you have been the one?
would you take my heart, if ever i had one to give?
cause i know i'm irresponsible
and you expect too much, but we all need somebody to love
i know we tried with each other but
we never got it right

cause you and me
didn't know what it was we were doing
tell me--do you believe that our love was a permanent feeling?
come on home girl--won't you come home to me?

now one by one
as the days go on, i still can't get you out of my head
and i've been alone
i've been thinking on the things i should have done instead
cause i know it's been a long time
and you've been moving on--but baby, i want you to be mine
and if you trust me at all then
we could get it right

come on home girl
won't you come home to me?
Track Name: Hold It Down
i don't know what it is, but i feel it
lurking all around in the shadows
i've been trying hard just to read it
but i don't know myself like i did before

what do i want? what do i need?
is it possible that they're two different things?
am i too weak to do this all on my own?
am i feeling bad--or am i just too stoned?
i don't know anymore

tell me--do you want someone?
when you touch yourself late at night, who are you thinking of?
is she what you want? could you fall in love?
or do you just want someone else to make you come
i can tell that there's something missing
i just don't know what it is right now
and i really hate this indecision
baby all that i can do is hold it down

i don't know what it is but i feel it
floating all around my peripheral
when i shut my eyes i can see it
but i don't recognize it like i did before
why do i run? and what do i fear?
is it possible that it's already hear?
have i convinced myself that i should be on my own?
should i ask her out? or should i just get stoned?
i don't know anymore